Hey, you know how you don’t want people to know that you do bad things?  Well, there’s an app for that now!  I’m not in this until about 1:20 so skip all the other crap for me! me! me!

This one features my smooth rich voice that tickles your fancy.  And by “fancy” I mean your heart.


Oh, and I’m also the one depicting “Hairy People.”

I had to work out for months to get such a rockin’ set of abs.  I’m just kidding I didn’t have to work out.  I’m naturally just that ripped.  “But that’s clearly a costume.”  Would I ever lie to you?  “Yes.  Yes, you would.”  You play the devil one time and suddenly no one trusts you.

You wanna get away?  No, you want to stay.  Good.  Now sit.

If someone gives you some money apparently you’re supposed to invest that junk.   And NOT spend it on fish and chips and skittles.

A committee within a committee. Check me out with a goatee!

Not so much awkward, as authoritative.  See. I do have range.

People were bored to tears while watching training videos.  Enter the Awkward Actor.  Now everybody is throwing up during training videos.

But in a good way.

Watch this and my head will explode.  On second thought, don’t watch this.

Hey, I was hungry!  And that guy didn’t need any more pudding.  Amiright?